Ever have a feeling or emotion and as quick as it pops up you shoot it down, discredit it, shame it and move on like nothing happened except left with this nagging feeling that something isn’t right? Why wouldn’t I let myself truly feel what I was feeling and allow myself the time and space to process it? A lot of light was shown these past four days after doing the Tony Robins course Unleash the Power Within and if you don’t know who I am talking about this man is a legend. I was playing the comparison game and ultimately some serious self sabotaging. It seems so obvious and quite frankly silly now but this is what our brains do if we don’t get to the root causes of our limiting beliefs. Things get warped, twisted and distorted and without the knowledge of how to break down my limiting beliefs I wound up stuck in a sea of emotions and not understanding why. The fear grew and the guilt with a heaping side of shame was hot on its heels and before I knew it I had successfully stopped myself from making any further progress and ultimately growing.

What was I doing wrong, I knew there was a missing piece but for the life of me it wasn’t clear, I only knew how I was feeling. So Tony made me start from the bottom, I had to ask myself what sort of things I was saying to me. How many times a day was I actually talking shit about myself and once I really thought about it I realized that was pretty much the only language I knew. I also knew immediately I wanted, no, needed that to change but how? Tony asked, what is a consequence of feeling that way, what sort of things will you feel in your mind and body, how will you act. He asked us what sort of life do you envision in one year, five years, ten years if nothing changes and these thoughts are left to grow, how do you see your life and more importantly how do you see yourself. The big question of who do you want to be hit hard because I was definitely not heading that way if I didn’t get my shit sorted out. So there I sat thinking about my three limiting beliefs and every time I found a consequence he would ask for a worse consequence and one even worse and another. Let me tell you that all three roads, one from each limiting belief took me in exactly the same direction and it was there on paper in front of my face I couldn’t deny it. All three roads led to a lonely fearful life and those were never words I would have imagined using to describe myself or my life. This may seem like a harsh exercise however the beautiful thing about it is I got to IMAGINE a future based on what my feelings were that day, at that moment. It’s in my face it’s real, it’s undeniable. Here’s the special part, I did the same exact exercise only this time I imagined the opposite of my negative beliefs. I flipped my beliefs and drastically improved my state. He has an incredibly effective way of showing the truth behind your emotions and shows you how to really believe the good ones you want to feel. This is just one of many exercises in the four days that I found particularly honest and effective, I feel this was my biggest take home.

I’ve had it in my head that in order to feel the way I was feeling I probably should have had worse things happen to me. In my head compared to other people mine aren’t really that bad or mine happened so long ago that it really isn’t even a big deal anymore. I’m good, I’m good was my line because I always was good, I always had it, don’t worry about me. The amount of energy I had been wasting on those thoughts, on those terrible beliefs about myself was staggering. No wonder I had no energy for anything and as a Mom, wife and for me this just wouldn’t do. Instead I should have been telling myself it’s okay for the strong to falter and need a minute, it’s okay to rest and recoup and learn and grow. I put this version of myself at an unreachable level and from where I was it would have been impossible to get anywhere, assuming I had the energy to do anything about it that is. I wasn’t even giving myself the permission to feel my feelings, sit with them and validate them. I just kept operating from fear, guilting and shaming myself which led to avoiding those feelings altogether, I was putting conditions on myself. How the hell can I help myself if I won’t let myself think about it? AHHH the sheer frustration this brought about, just unreal honestly and then the frustration melted away.

When I sit back and really soak in what my brain was doing I have no choice but to laugh. Anger will do no good I’m on the other side of that knowledge now, I learned what I needed to about those beliefs for now. You see right now I’m at an Airbnb with my sister for four days doing this course it’s total immersion. Tomorrow starts the first day with this new knowledge and it’s up to me to apply it, to make the changes that I know will serve me. That means having awareness and catching myself in those familiar moments and hopefully use everything I learned to shift my focus and energy when needed.

This man is so incredible this is just a tiny snip-it of what I took home from this course. The only way I can describe it is my soul feels lighter, I have this pressure off my shoulders. I have a renewed sense of confidence as well as patience and grace towards myself. This course may absolutely not be for everyone however I truly believe everyone could learn something from this course.

In closing I want to say that I definitely am a believer in learning and growing, just don’t be afraid to stop and smell the roses. Don’t make the process overwhelming and difficult by putting too much pressure on yourself. Goals are great, bars can be set high, just know when it’s time to kick back, remember to breathe and have fun whenever possible!

To be continued…