I hope no one needs to read this blog but the reality and my experience says someone will and that both excites and saddens me. Saddens me because you must have went through some shit to be here reading this. Excites me because everyone deserves to feel peace and joy. We all have our own meaning for these terms and that’s what makes it beautiful. Sure we can all read the definition by doing a quick google search but what does it actually MEAN to you. Have you ever sat down and thought about what would make those words have truth in your life. If you haven’t, how can you expect to feel peace and joy if you don’t know what would elicit those feelings in your day to day life. What I can tell you with 100 percent certainty is that it starts with you and you alone. You can’t expect joy to come from an outside source, you have to cultivate it. It all starts with a single thought!

If I haven’t lost you so far, I’m going to be completely transparent from the start. I’m a married working Mom of 2 boys, ages 3 and 18 months. I am in no way a writer, if high school me could see me right now writing this I would be utterly shocked, nonetheless here I am. This blog is as much to help me along this road as it is to anyone who finds value in it and if you don’t that’s totally okay! I’m not here to justify any choices made but I will absolutely discuss anything else surrounding them. This is a blog for finding your way to peace and joy with a twist.

My motivation behind this blog is 2023, need I say more, don’t worry I’ll say more. My youngest son is technically my nephew, I’ll explain. I got the news that my older brother has a son that neither him nor the birth Mom could care for. I knew immediately this was something my husband and I were going to do come hell or high water. My brother and I are no contact and have been going on 5 years or so now. That’s all I’ll mention on that subject for now but it is incredibly important as it was the final piece to the puzzle where I got the swift kick in the ass I needed to make some changes in my life.

My purpose for this blog is simple, to help anyone who can get anything from it. When we were going through the process of bringing this 9 month little human home of course it brought up a very traumatic past, one that I had no choice but to deal with, I had put it off long enough and didn’t even know it. I searched for books or blogs, anything I could find to help navigate what I see as a unique blessing . There wasn’t much that fit this specific situation of Mom/Aunt and Dad/Uncle so I did all the reading I could and have pieced together different ideas and concepts that I hope are at least adequate. I never would have imagined that him coming would have led me down a road of healing wounds that were left as early as 7 years old. My biggest regret is that it took my first son’s arrival to tell me something was off and then my seconds sons entrance into our lives to get my ass in gear. It’s amazing what can happen if you remain open to possibility.

Please bear with me as previously stated, I’m not a writer, my English teachers would be mortified with my use of grammar. The protection of my sons is of ultimate importance to me and is the biggest hesitation for putting anything about us on such a public platform, so I mean it when I say this is something I feel called to do. Ultimately I just want to start a conversation with honest and open people and maybe we can help each other, who knows, it all starts with a thought.

To be continued…